September 11, 2001. I think we all have a memory of September 11th. That day is our generation's JFK assassination or Pearl Harbor. Where were you? Here's my story - one of millions.
The morning of September 11th was actually beautiful. Sunny and warm - a perfect late summer day in New York City. I was living in Jersey City and I rented my apartment for the perfect view of NYC and the Twin Towers. Some people thought of the Twin Towers as an eyesore - too modern, too big. I always loved those building and the way they would change colors with the sun - silver, blue, bronze, pink, orange and gold. This morning, as I did every morning, I walked my dogs in the park and said good morning to the Twin Towers.
For some reason, I was very early getting to work. I'm NEVER early for work. I make it a point to never be early for work. I remember stopping at the Dunkin Donuts on the corner by the Port Authority to get some coffee and walking the block to my office. A beautiful day - New York City is never as beautiful as it is in early fall. Got to my office, ready to start the day with a coffee and then.....some weird news. A plane hit the World Trade Center. The World Trade Center is burning.
Then it started....The rumors....the searching for the radio (we had no tv and the internet was so new, no streaming video yet....)...The calls from and to friends. A plane hit The WTC. Then another plane. A call to a friend who lived downtown confirmed the fire, the smoke, the strike.
One worker was just crazed, one worker had an ex at the WTC. I had many many friends at the WTC. I almost accepted a job there the week before but I really didn't want to go back into finance. My ex-fiance worked on the 79th floor and I visited him just the week before with my dog. I had just left a sales job where my clients were all either in the Twin Towers or the Starett-Lehy Building because I could cold call an entire building and client search without going out in the winter. I tried to call some people who worked there, getting no answers, not getting through.
In my immediate wisdom and knowledge about disaster from being in Hurricane Andrew(most people call it pessimism) I thought two things - this did not get my new coworkers to like me much..One - NYC is probably under terrorist attack and we should go in pairs to an ATM and get CASH so that when the electricity goes out and there is anarchy in the streets we have money to buy any food or water we might need. and Two....Those towers WILL GO DOWN - there's too much heat and metal for them to not fully and totally collapse. Besides, action plans totally work when people are getting crazed - giving someone something to do - like go to the bank - actually makes people feel better - and we all felt hopeless. So we did that. I secretly wanted to get down to the site. To see if I could see, help, do....But in all the chaos I thought probably better to not go.
So we waited, watched. And saw people trapped. People leaping out of the buildings 90-100 stories up. People that had to choose between being burned alive and one last flight of freedom before they met the ground. We saw the towers fall - first one then the other. I was right...and so sorry for being right.
We left finally....closed the office....found a bar....watched TV....Saw the film footage again and again in an endless loop of horror. The Plane hitting the second tower. The towers falling. By then NYC was shut down. No cabs, no buses. The bridges and tunnels were shut down - to keep people from leaving the city and getting into the city. We were where we were. I still had to get back into New Jersey - offers were passed for me to sleep on a couch, share a bed but this did not appeal to me. I wanted to get back home to my view that a few hours before was a majestic skyline - now burning rubble.
I walked to the piers on the West Side. There were rumors that boats were taking stranded people to New Jersey. The lines were miles long...hours long....I started walking when I heard some guy calling me over - he had a charter party boat - leaving now - room for one more. Taking me across the river only a few miles from my apartment. I hopped on. Any other day you don't go with strangers. That day you did. What the hell else could happen? Rape? Robbery?
We untied from the dock - this boat that is used for weddings, corporate parties, dancing and drinking had a much different feel than what she was intended for. People shell shocked on deck. And I've heard it said people were crying but truth be told New Yorkers are much more stoic. There were few tears. Mostly either stories or silence. The Hudson was a sea of boats and we were on deck for what seems like hours. We were heading south...and I got my first good look at the site. And as we were looking Number 7 WTC went down in front of us - not as spectacular but a good shocking taste of what WTC 1 and 2 must have looked like.
We finally got to NY and I got to my home. Remember - I had THE primo view of the WTC. Now, as the sun set on this grotesque day, I got to see the plumes of smoke, some flames. In fact the smoke and burning was there for days, as were the news trucks who set up camp for a week. Everything in the neighborhood was filled with soot. And...papers....lots of papers. I picked one up - they were trade confirmations from the exchange floors of the World Trade center - the blasts and the wind carried them over to my apartment. They were dated September 10 and 11. Part of me said keep them and any other time, any other remnant I would have, but I put them down where they lay - these papers had blood on them and I wanted no part of them.
The next day all was silent except for the sound of Airforce fighter jets. A sound I never want to hear in my city again. It was the sound of a war. My City was at war. I found my way into the City....Walked as far as I could down the West Side Highway - out of curiosity, a feeling of wanting to be a part and to see if I could help. I saw things I thought I would never see....Impromptu corps of people trying to volunteer....Dump Trucks hauling away entire Fire Engines and police cars covered in white powder......Freezer Trucks hauling away god knows what.....I found a way to volunteer putting together cardboard dog and cat carriers for people trying to get into their apartments to rescue their pets who lived downtown (Downtown was evacuated). Everyone wanted to volunteer, everyone wanted to help. Remember - action is the opposite of fear and frustration.
Right afterward the posters and the candles started appearing. Everywhere. The signs. The faces. Have you seen my wife, my son, my father? Pictures of smiling firefighters, pretty young secretaries, handsome stock traders. And they were all handsome in those pictures. The makeshift posters were made with love - showing these lost souls at their very best - brides, grooms, graduates in their cap and gowns, wearing uniforms, holding babies. I think that these people knew that their loved ones would never return home to them...I think they just wanted the City to know that they existed. I don't want to liken the Twin Tower attack with the Holocaust - but there was similarities - both killed innocent people and both left loved ones with nothing to bury.
I am proud of New Yorkers - the city and it's people were wounded but not paranoid. We got back to work that Monday. We worked through Anthrax scares and building evacuations. We went to funerals with empty coffins. Us single gals dated single firemen and police officers. Just doing our duty. We went to plays to save Broadway and ate out to save restaurants. We volunteered and held benefits and shows and reviews and gave blood and time and money.
I worked on a project to rebuild the World Trade Center. Every design was fought against by families of the dead. Motives were questioned - who would lease there? Who would ever work there? Wasn't this hallowed ground? I agreed in secret. Don't rebuild. Too many ghosts. Eight years later the site is just an empty piece of land - like a socket where a tooth was. A friend had never been to NYC and wanted to see the site. All my friends and I said there was nothing to see - she didn't believe us. so we went and...nothing. There is nothing....and maybe....just maybe....that's how it should stay....Every anniversary in memory, the city of New York lights two giant beacons of light, representing each tower. These lights form giant ghost towers in the sky. I love this memorial. Ghost towers shimmering over an empty site where people used to work, laugh, eat, drink.....live and breathe. Ghost people working in their ghost towers in the sky. Yes.....that's exactly how it should be.
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